This is what the world doesn’t tell you about being a Madre and Business Owner. I mean, la mera verdad. You know, the stuff that we all should know… However, it remains “calladita te vez mas bonita.” shit.
When I found out I was pregnant with my solecito, Lizandro, my world turned 360. Although I was excited, there was just so many unknowns, COVID, work, my body, todo.
I found myself constantly asking the same questions.
HOW WAS I GOING TO CARE FOR HIM?
DID I EVEN MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO SUPPORT HIM?
HOW DO I PREPARE MYSELF AND HIM FOR THIS WORLD?
Each pregunta took up space in my mind, heart, and soul. Honestly, I felt like I was drowning in uncertainty. Yet after nine long, tiring months, I held him in my arms and suddenly found the answers.
This BUSINESS was it.
In 2015, I started photography as a “just for fun” type of thing. I would take photos of my husband’s motorcycle and motorcycle group Inland Classic Motor Society. Unexpectedly, I fell in love with it. There was just something about it that spoke to me. I mean, getting to capture something that most people can’t see and keeping the memory forever?
SIGN. ME. THE. FUCK. UP.
But it was always my major side thing, and I didn’t know how to make it a “real job.” And in all honesty, I still don’t.
I love motherhood.
So, why couldn’t I combine the two to have the best of both worlds?
RIGHT? Seems like it would be simple enough. It’s not; things I have had to think about are childcare, health care, PTO!
The thing about motherhood as a business owner is that you are constantly in competencia with the mommy bloggers on social media. Do you know who I am talking about? The moms who get paid to post about all of the fun and exciting things that they get to do with their kids.
Without a doubt, it just isn’t as simple as it makes it out to be.
The hard truth is that things AREN’T always pretty. In fact, they can be pretty damn ugly. I mean, you have to stay up really late because you spend the majority of your day trying to be a “perfecta” madre and be present for your child. You experience most of your meetings with a baby in the background running around, or trying to eat something they found on the ground, sometimes even listening to nursery songs.
Special shout out to those clients who have seen me go through a meeting with him in the background. YOU ARE REAL ONES.
HELL YES, and here is why!
Having a business and setting the boundaries of WHEN and WHO we want to work with is a privilege. Yet there has to be some acknowledgment of the high standard Madres/business owners are held to. People often think that we have to have it together ALL of the time.
Yet, this couldn’t be less than true. I struggle daily. Postpartum still hits me, being a nueva madre, body dysmorphia, my other job, and so many things. Some days I feel like I am failing because I feel should be spending more time posting on Instagram, editing photos, responding to emails, etc.
So, here I am reminding you all we are human, and we want to be the best for all. For our familias, for our clients, for those around us, and most importantly OURSELVES.
And I am learning to be okay with this.
This blog isn’t to complain; it’s to share my everyday thoughts and experience and remind people I am human.
Mi bebe is seeing his mama do something that she loves.
He gets to see me fight for what he deserves, the life he deserves.
Lizandro mi corazoncito, te adoro and I wouldn’t change being your mommy ever. Todo lo que hago and I fight for is for you.